The Past 3 Weeks

Do you ever just feel like you are drowning?

You have multiple To-Do-Lists. Tests. And a Crazy Life.

I feel like I have been running around campus like a crazy woman.

And do you ever feel like your heart is just so heavy?

This has been me for the past 3 weeks. Maybe longer.

I kept having thoughts of, "Lindsay, you're not good enough. You are failing at school. You are failing at life. No one cares about you. No one loves you." 

Do you know who these were coming from?

Satan.

I was letting him tell me who I was.

NOT OKAY.

The Lord said, "Lindsay, My sweet daughter, I love you. I understand. I am with you. No need to fear or worry. I got you right in the palm of my hand."

For weeks on end I could not figure out why I felt this way, but it was because I was letting the devil get into my head.

I had a break down almost everyday because I couldn't take it anymore. I was sick of feeling this way.

I finally sat down on the quad one evening after a hard day and started talking/yelling at God. 

I said, "MAKE IT STOP! Lord get these thoughts out of my head. I am LOVED. I am SMART. I am CARED FOR. I am a GEM. Satan get out of here. You are not wanted. Leave me now!"

I was bold with the Lord. 

I looked back on these past few weeks and yeah a TON of bad things happened, but that doesn't define who I am in Christ. He loves me just the way I am. He loves me even if school is hard for me. He loves me even when I lose focus on Him. 

He loves me ALWAYS.

I had to remind myself that My timing isn't His timing. 

I wanted SO badly for my mommy to get better from being sick and hurting immediately, but that wasn't His plan. It was going to take a few weeks.

I wanted to ACE my quiz in physiology last week. I studied for what it seemed like forever. Did I ace it? nope.

I feel like I am trying incredibly hard, but the Lord isn't helping. 

BUT you know what, He still loves me. 

I may not understand what the Lord is doing in my life right now, BUT good golly I am going to trust in His Mighty Plan!