My Identity!

Do you ever feel like your heart is about to jump out of your chest?

That you are so anxious, your body goes numb?

That is how I feel right now, but by the end of this, I am hoping I will have a different feeling.

This is my story.

My sophomore year. Third semester of college. Here we go.

I took three science classes and a biblical perspectives class. 16 hours.

It was the hardest semester yet.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE LEARNING!

But, three sciences was rough.

There were many many times where I just felt I could not do it.

That I wasn't smart enough.

That I couldn't possibly understand cellular respiration or sodium-potassium pumps or even how the body needs calcium for the muscles to contract.

I remember going home for Fall break and being SO excited to be home! Away from school and those science classes, but I was in for an awakening.

My parents had to sit me down and put my head back on straight.

One of my problems: I LOVE PEOPLE. I love helping them. I love talking with them. I love giving my time to them.

Don't get me wrong, these are all great things, but I also needed to focus on school.

This was a hard lesson to take from them. At the time I was sad, because I thought I was failing them.

I just wanted to make my parents proud of me.

One night, I went over to my grand-big Carlson's room to give her something. She asked, "Hey how are things going? How's school?"

Cue the tears.

I told her how I wasn't doing well. I was failing my parents. How school was so difficult.

She wrapped me in her arms and told me how it wasn't about making them proud. She told me that the Lord created truth and knowledge, so instead of getting so annoyed with school, look at it as honoring the Lord and getting excited to learn about what He created for us to learn! How awesome is that?! All I could do was try my very best and that's all I can do. She told me I was smart. I am a daughter of the King. I am LOVED! 

I will always remember that night with sweet Carlson. 

After this night, I started doing things for the Lord and not for my parents.

I started to enjoy learning about the human body and how it works. And speaking up more in my Biblical perspectives class.

I regained some of my joy!

I frequently had my ups and downs, but who doesn't?

Again and Again I was reminded how loved I was. How I am a GEM! How I am His daughter.

Every time I got down, the Lord would place someone in my life that reminded me that I could do it.

I do not know where I would be without my AOII sisters. Truly.

There were many times where my sisters would just come and give me a hug, give me a Bible verse they read and wrote it on a notecard for me, and just sat and prayed with me! I had sisters place there hands on me and pray over me.

HOW PRECIOUS!!!

Now, I know being in a sorority takes up some of my time, but without them, I would not be where I am today.

I thank the Lord that He placed such sweet girls in my life. They are ALL precious!

He granted me with a hard semester, but I had wonderful women around me on my journey. The Lord blessed me with such fun times with these sisters of mine!

Now, here is where the numbness comes in...

I just finished finals.

And I am not sure yet on my grades.

I'm freaking out!

I keep saying to myself, "Lindsay, you can't fail. You can't. What will I do?! I want to make my parents proud!"

Every time I think this way, I am reminded what Jane told me, "You make the Lord proud, Lindsay. Your best is always enough!" 

I will not let these grades define me!!! My identity is found in Christ. Not these grades.

*breathe in. breathe out*

There is no reason to worry. No reason to get anxious.

BECAUSE, the Lord has got me right inside the palm of His great BIG hand!

Whenever I get the feeling of my stomach in knots, I have to remember I did my very best and that the Lord is proud of me either way!

I hope this gives you a little peace if you are in a position like me right now.

Now I wanted to add at the end of this a short list of some answered prayers over this semester!

PRAISE GOD!!!

New and deeper Friendships:

Lauren Oakley, my amazing study partner, sister, and friend! I love you oakley!!!!

Anna Kathryn, my little, my prayer warrior, a friend that will cry with me and laugh with me! She is one big blessing. I love this girl to pieces!!!

Stevie Carnell: My auntie in AOII. She can make me laugh until I cry. She truly cares for me as I do for her. I am blessed to be her neiceyy!

Carlson Coogler: She gave me pep talks and hugged on me. She truly cares about me and loves me just the way I am. She too is a precious sister!!!
Christina Rickman: My sweet BIG!! I love her so much! She always knows what to say and how to encourage me. She always knows how to cheer me up (sending me NEMO quotes and giving me lots of hugs!) I don't know what I would do without her!

Mary Katherine Parker: I love this girl! She is a precious friend! She always points me to Christ!

Hannah Crane: Such a sweet spirit! She is such an encourager! I am glad to have met her this semester!

Kristen Francisco: This girl is always making me laugh. She is always thinking of others and loving on people. So happy we are so much closer this year!

Alex Da Ponte: She is such a great friend. She always is encouraging me and lifting me up!

A person to start mentoring me while in college: 

Jane Eggenberger. A precious woman of God. A prayer warrior. An amazing role model. I am blessed by her SO much! When I was approached by her during the semester, I was in need of someone who would understand what I was going through and Jane showed up. I am thankful that the Lord placed her in my life.

I would be able to pour into girls younger than me: 

I have the privilege to mentor five of the sweetest girls! They are my new AOII sisters. I cannot wait to watch them grow into wonderful and lovely women of God throughout there college years. They are adorable!!

These were just a few of the wonderful things God did this semester!!

Now, think about what the Lord did in your life this year and go write it all down! It is a great way to thank the Lord for His mighty work!