Lindsay, Trust ME!

Have you ever been shaken by the Lord?

Where He has to yell at you to get your attention.

Right now the Lord is yelling.

"Lindsay, my sweet daughter, TRUST ME!!!"

Recently, I was denied a position next year at school. 

No, it's not the end of the world. 

But, it was a part of my plan.

Did you catch that?

It was a part of MY plan.

Dumb thing to say.

But, it wasn't God's plan.

I wanted to lead girls, show them Jesus, and love them deeply.

All great intentions, but not His plan for me in that position.

So, I sat a few days in confusion of WHY.

I wanted an answer of WHY.

I got to a place of, "What's wrong with me? Am I not good enough?"

Bad place to be, let me tell you.

Don't even go there.

I had to re-fill my thoughts with, "My identity is in Christ. I am dearly loved. I am a daughter of the Almighty King. I am His gem."

After getting my head straight, I then began to think.

I think a lot. A lot A lot.

Maybe the Lord is trying to tell me something. 

So I sat in that for a while. Just talking it through with Him and listening. Sitting in His presence. 

Here's what I got.

After not getting what I wanted, am I still going to trust in the Lord that He has a greater plan. That He is in charge and not me? That He is the only thing that matters in life? 

The Lord said, "Lindsay, are you still going to trust me, even though you have no idea what I am doing?"

Yes!

I read in Jesus Calling this week something pretty awesome, and I wanted to share!

"Trust Me in every detail of your life. Nothing is random in My Kingdom. Everything that happens fits into a pattern for good, to those who love me. Instead of trying to analyze the intricacies (details) of the pattern, Focus your energy on TRUSTING ME and THANKING ME at ALL times...I lifted you out of the mire into My Marvelous Light!!!"

I think a lot of times I look at every detail in situations such as this one, and all the Lord wants me to do is trust in Him that it will be okay, and His plans are far better than any of my own hopes or dreams. To let go of my control and give it to Him. It's not worth it.

I am reflecting now. Letting go. Trusting Him. 

I pray to the Lord that in this time I become in a deeper love for Him. I want to learn to love Him more. 

I want to leave with this sweet song.

Nothing I hold onto.

"I lean not on my own understanding,

my life is in the hands of the maker of Heaven.

I give it all to you God, trusting that you'll make something beautiful out of me.

I will climb this mountain with my hands wide open.

There is nothing I hold onto!"

This is my prayer. My cry to the Lord.